Keeping It Simple

Regardless of one lay-off after another, for some reason bills, taxes and car repairs don’t end. On a bad day I feel enslaved to some of these challenges.  

Is life unfolding in a neat little package like you envisioned, or does it feel like bedlam some days? Do you ever wonder if you’re making a difference? Doing “it” right, whatever “it” is? I don’t know about you, but I have had all sorts of creative ideas floating in my head and heart. Some have come to fruition, but others feel like a run away dream. As time chips away I get more impatient, scared, frustrated, uncertain. Some days I wonder if I read the wrong road map.

As the dream-wreck piles up, I question, what was “it” suppose to look like? In my head it [life] was suppose to be easy and simple, instead it got complicated. Or so it appears.

Truthfully, the lay-offs, life challenges and broken dreams do create a mess, a loss and upsets the order of “simple”. Kind of can’t avoid that. However, I am thinking perhaps this is not the same as “complicated.”

So I wonder, did my life get complicated or have I put an unrealistic expectation on myself which has made my life feel complicated? Perhaps I need to lighten my emotional load by lightening up on myself [my expectations].

During this season I feel like I’m not contributing and have absolutely nothing left to offer. My prayers can be pretty raw and honest [well He made me that way], as I ask for this mess to make sense. I prayed, how can I do anything to help others when everything keeps breaking. Prayerfully I conclude I have nothing left to give.

Then a friend invites me to a special event in her life. She glows, “You have no idea how much you mean to me and what you’ve done for me.” 

Hydrangea

I’m thinking, I haven’t known this person all that long. I said, “I haven’t done anything.” 

Tears pooled in her eyes as she stated, “You have always been encouraging which has helped me get through the day. Some days it was just your smile that pulled me through.” 


She concludes, “You have lifted me up in ways you will never know.” 

She is absolutely correct, I have no idea how I did that. I have felt like a flop, like I’m failing, like I have nothing to offer these days, like I’m going backward, not forward.

Snowberry Clearwing Hummingbird

During this crucial time when I needed “something” to make sense, God not only answered my prayer, but used both her and me to lift each other up. While nothing looked like it was going how I thought it should go in my life, God reminded me that His plan was working just fine. I may have “stuff” going on, but the plan is still simple. Brighten someones day. It is not complicated.