Like seriously, this blogging thing is going to be a challenge for me to be concise and get to the point. My family says my nutshell versions are not short. My friends say, “Land the plane.” My husband says, “And your point is?” I say, “That’s what I’m describing.” He says, “Wake me when you’re done.” LOL.
What do I like?
Sunshine, hikes, rainbows, wild flowers, backyard birds, the sound of the ducks flying south for the winter as the evening sun illuminates their underside with an amber glow. Taking a big pot of something off the stove for guests. Of course dark chocolate! Gathering with family and friends, with their stories and guitars, and listening to my husband sing, especially his original songs.
A little about me.
I am happily married to my husband who has consistently supported me through my fragile but hardy growth to break free from the bondage of unhealthy thinking.
The kid of a blue collar family, I earned my way babysitting, was baptized and churched throughout my youth. However, instead of a wise and healthy view of God I was afraid of Him like I was afraid of my dad; an abusive angry drunk.
I held my breath, walked on egg shells and lived on the edge of fear. After being beat, thrown, dragged down the stairs, smacked, shoved, verbally abused, neglected and not protected, I was left with a view of myself that wasn’t healthy. The perfect recipe for a teenager to start shutting down and checking out. So I did.
Why do I want to blog?
Much of my healing came from hearing authentic stories so maybe a little bit of mine can help someone. It’s not about comparing war stories, but rather identifying with some piece of the wound in an effort to find peace.
I don’t believe we were designed to be repressed, stuffed or dismissed. Left with the aftermath of our family mess, my question became “Now What?”
We may be stuck with our wound but we don’t have to be stuck in it.TSW
In spite of being dragged through the living room by my hair, eventually I learned that all the hairs on my head are counted, I matter, and I have worth.
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7
I also discovered as I peel back the layers, one at a time, my perspective of the wound changes, shedding light in a dark corner and adding color to my world. This doesn’t give the abuse license, but it gives me a new view which can free me from the grips of an emotional bondage that serves absolutely no purpose.
Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. Matthew 5:14 (MSG)
I have been working on changing my view so I can see the world through a brighter lens. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but as I peel back one layer at a time I thank God it can happen one step at a time.
Maybe we can grow together!
Barefoot’n-it with Tammy Sue Willey